Horror: Ways to Survive

By Tyler Gonsalves, Talon Staff Writer

Lets face it, school is very difficult. But there are many different ways to survive the horror, that is school. Some methods include the Bill Gates method, which I will explain later, the procrastinator, and actually doing your work.

Okay, the Bill Gates method is basically being a slacker, Not doing your work at all is a very poor way to go through school, this method consists of being lazy and cutting corners on term papers or outlines and just trying to find the easiest way to do your work. The reason this method is named this because this is apparently based on a quote that Bill Gates made which was, “I will hire the laziest person, because he will take a hard job and find an easy way to do the job.” I would not really recommend this method of approaching school.

The next way to approach school is called the procrastinator, which I think has been appropriately named by me. This method is really, “just getting by.” Basically what you do is wait until about midnight to do your homework, then stress out about why you don’t understand the material. Eventually these, almost exact, words will come spewing from your mouth, “BUMP THIS!” which means that you have reasoned with the fact that none of things that you are learning will help you in life. Which also means that you will turn in incomplete work, but hey at least you receive passing grades, right?

The last theory that we come to is called ACTUALLY DOING YOUR WORK! This includes doing your work as soon as possible. Remarkable isn’t it? I bet this has never popped into your head, has it? Well if actually occurred to you I applaud you. Surprisingly this theory works the best, argh, but who am I kidding. No one will believe me.

Referring to the procrastinator theory, God does not want us to give up when things get difficult. I’m sure that there are many verses that say to not give up, so here as one last assignment I challenge you to go find one.