Moostache

By Jessica Brock

Everyone has favorite things that they collect. Miss Humphreys likes cows and Heather Gladwell likes mustaches! Put them together, and you get moostache!

When I asked Heather Gladwell, a fellow seventh grader, why she likes mustaches, she replied, “I don’t know, they’re fluffy and cool!” Heather enjoys black and brown mustaches. Did you know that there is a month contributed towards men growing mustaches like President William Howard? He died in the 1930’s, but always fancied mustaches. Mustaches grow hair faster than any hair in the body. A team of Australian researchers researched and found out that,  “Facial hair reduced the exposure ratios to approximately one-third of those to the sites with no hair. The variation in the exposure rates over the different sites was reduced compared with the cases with no beard.” This basically means that if you wear a mustache, it will cover and protect that area of hair, while being stylish at the same time. Ladies, you must feel left out, but never fear. Researchers have found that particularly long hair protects against harsh sunlight, as well. It says in the Bible to cover your head when you go before GOD, and some ladies believe that in order to cover your head, you must be, not only wearing hair, but also a hat. Other ladies think that wearing your hair is good enough! Heather’s favorite chase phrase with mustaches is, “Your Fanstachestic!”

Cows are very interesting. They come in all shapes and sizes, as well as colors. There is even a cow parade! They are very gentle creatures, and useful, for plowing and farming, giving us calcium through their milk, and for spicing up math teacher’ desks, like Miss Humphreys does. Her favorite kinds are the brown and white ones. I can tell from her desk and countertops that she’s been collecting for a while, and that she loves them! I asked her why she like them, and she replies, “they are very cute, yet calm and peaceful.” She said the vocabulary word that they reminded her of was, “placid.”

“Cows are amongst the gentlest of breathing creatures; none show more passionate tenderness to their young when deprived of them; and, in short, I am not ashamed to profess a deep love for these quiet creatures.”

~ Thomas de Quincey

In conclusion, I believe that there is one word for all of this, “Moostache!”